The Seven Deadly Spins: Part 1 - Lust

I'm calling this series of posts the Seven Deadly Spins in honor of Vani Hari and her new "advisory Council" of six. Together they add up to the seven blithering idiots who spread fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) about the world we live in. If you were to adhere to everything they say (you couldn't since they contradict each other frequently) but if you could, you'd end up living in a glass bubble subsisting on juiced kale and pumped in oxygen (pure oxygen, cause you know that nitrogen mixed in is an evil conspiracy by the airlines)

First up, I'm going to introduce Dr. Joel Kahn, integrative cardiologist and his deadly spin is lust. Now with a name like Kahn, you'd expect me to choose 'wrath' as his deadly spin because the "wrath of kahn" is a much catchier title but we're about truth here, and wrath is not something I attribute to Kahn.  Passive aggression, pride and condescension he possesses in great supply but that's attributable to many in his profession. No, his real sin is lust. Now I'm not talking about carnal lust here, I have no idea about that, nor do I want to. I'm talking about his lust for the limelight. He craves the fame, attention and wealth that his heroes like Dr Oz have been basking in and he's shown that he's willing to ditch science over his lust for it.

Because vegans don't get cancer, apparently

He calls himself many different things; America's Holistic Heart doctor, Interpreventional cardiologist, Vegan Cardiologist I just call him quackers or for fun; "Chakra Kahn". Let's start with his educational claims. He is undisputably a board certified cardiologist but he likes to tout his Summa Cum Laude graduation from University of Michigan medical school. The reality is that he entered medical school through a now defunct and then experimental program called Inteflex, that sought to fast track high school students into the medical profession by combining undergraduate and medical school into one six year program. In doing so they avoided the complicated and competitive process of being accepted into mainstream medical school. In fact, its 50 accepted students never even took the MCAT. So while Joel may have graduated summa cum laude, at most he only bested 30 some odd students, who were only required to pass courses with a 'C' average, for that title.

Now that's not enough for our boy Joel and his constant quest for edumacation. According to his website he states:

"My knowledge of heart health and healing has come to some degree from standard medical education, journals and conferences. A larger part has come from my post-graduate training at the University of South Florida in Metabolic Cardiology."

But when asked about his education in health and nutrition on twitter he responded thusly;

But according to Chakra Kahn's own words he took 'metabolic cardiology' at USF and according to USF, they don't offer a graduate degree in it, more like a one year certificate of completion. Nice try Joel but you are bending and distorting your achievements, yet again.  

It's also interesting to note that 'metabolic cardiology' is a new field invented by Dr Stephen Sinatra (integrative cardiologist, anti-aging specialist, author and anti-vaxxer) who famously writes; "most diseases result from an inadequate supply of essential nutrients, emotional blockage and environmental toxicity" and who is also a believer in earthing aka grounding. Of course he will happily lighten your wallet to sell you wootastic cures. What I find funny is that Sinatra has a page on his site to help you find the best integrative cardiologists. It must chap Kahn's hide that while he isn't listed his 'pal' Jack Wolfson is listed. I'll get back to him in a couple of minutes, I promise. It's seriously a tangled mass of webs with these hucksters - all intertwined to boost the bottom line.

Anyway, back to Chakra Kahn, whose mentors, like Sinatra are a who's who of woo list! He counts among them, the infamous Dr Oz, Dr Mark Hyman (who I will be writing about in the next post), Daniel Amen, Dr Mercola and...gack...Gabriel Cousens. Oh my, my little munchkins, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, simply slide your wallet over and don't make any fast moves.

All of these 'physicians' are violating their own code of ethics, or perhaps when you step into the woo world as a trained doctor, you trade the hippocratic oath for  the capitalistic oath, because certainly Chakra Kahn has no problem with that:

See, Kahn links to all kinds of profitable endeavors from his website. He links to the Daniel Plan, which is a faith based plan for diet and exercise that's willing to sell you all kinds of cool merch, books, CDs and links to Dr Mark Hyman, who will readily sell you the rest of the stuff, like supplements cookbooks, powders and miracle self-cure kits. In fact, you can pay up to $300.00 for supplements that support your 10 day detox so you can literally piss away 300 bucks. Kahn also has links to the Thrive store - which is an online merchant designed to give up to 20% of the cuts back to the referring site. Problem is, nowhere on Kahn's site does he have a disclaimer that tells you he gets paid to promote these affiliate products. I'm sure that the FTC as well as the AMA would frown on that practice. But hey, capitalism is the cooperation of many, right? He provides links and you provide cash, downright symbiotic.

I'm focusing on Joel, because since becoming a member of the Food Boob's advisory council, he has become her most vocal and ardent defender on twitter. Now why is that do you think? Just since he's become the boob's advisor, he's picked up a couple thousand twitter followers. You see, Vani has what he lusts for; she has fame and followers but he has something she does not; credibility. So they do a swap. Vani gets to reference a doctor - no a cardiologist,  whenever she's out in left field (which is usually) and he gets to cash in on some of her followers. Sadly for him, his credibility will be shot all to hell, what there is of it, anyway.

You see, Kahn just isn't doing as well as some of his shyster idols. They go on CNN, make big bucks on their woo and have much more brand recognition than the Chakra Kahn has. Take his pal Dr Jack Wolfson, the notorious integrative Paleo cardiologist and anti-vaxxer. See in order to up the woo quotient you just keep adding random words to your title. Wolfson is much more well known as the Paleo doctor and was much more in media demand until his disastrous CNN interview about vaccines. When Kahn was asked about the difference between the vegan cardiology theory that he pushes, and the paleo theory that Wolfson promotes (along with the requisite supplements) Kahn referred to it as 'splitting hairs'. Say wha???? They seem like opposite ends of the spectrum, but then, as Joel repeatedly reminds everyone on twitter. HE is a doctor and you are not. Funny how that science thing only counts when they are selling their brand of 'science'. I do have to wonder, however, about some of Kahn's advice.

He recommends a strict vegan diet. OK, that works for some I suppose and he even claims it's anti aging, however, if that's the case one wonders why his website photo is at least 25 years old. Is he not content with his looks on his strict diet, exercise and spiritual healing routine?

Joel's website photo, doesn't he look young and healthy?

Current photo of Joel (age 56)

He also recommends sleeping on 'grounded sheets' and believes in Earthing 

(something even Woo-Master Andrew Weil thinks is bunk).  Most recently he wrote a few paragraphs of poorly researched and even more poorly cited opinions about genetically modified foods. The citations he actually managed to include were laughable links to fraudulent studies, long ago debunked. So why put himself into this controversy? That's right, back to his deadly sin. Lust for the limelight. Help him out Food Boob, poor guy just wants to be Dr Oz before he's too old. Whoops, that ship looks to have sailed already. Sorry, buddy.

But don't ask him questions or take him to task on anything via social media because his responses are as worthless as his advice. I was told to hug someone because he deduced I had anger issues based on asking a few simple questions. Despite his PR person actually responding to my personal cancer story with a completely inappropriate remark, I'm not angry, I'm amused.

Dr Kahn's PR agency tweet in response to a cancer story

Believe it or not, she's still doing PR for a doctor who claims to teach classes in cardioncology after that brilliant response. Of course the good doctor himself told me I needed to visit Heart Math and buy an application to reset my energies or some such nonsense, also known as tooth fairy science.

Sadly, I could go on all day but it's time to get out the truth-o-meter. What say you? Well, according to Joel Kahn, in an interview he said; "the consumer is at the prey of whomever is most effective at marketing" and it's the first honest thing I've heard him say. So choke down another handful of chlorella, doc, since that's what you swear by, because we're going to call this a big fat pants on fire.

Oh and I'll save the 200 bucks you wanted me to spend on Heart Math and I'll sleep on Egyptian cotton instead of plugging in my sheets to ground them. Watch your wallet folks, the Seven Deadly Spins are out to get their hands on it!

Next time we'll talk about the Second Deadly Spin.

That's All Folks!

Food Babe; BA or BS?

What does the Food Babe know, that you don’t? Quite likely she knows something about stacking the deck in her favor on the Internet, but she doesn't know any more about food than you or I do. In fact, probably less. Food Babe LLC is a company. It’s not a person with a particular insight, education or talent. It’s a profit making business and should be viewed that way.  Vani is not a researcher or an industry expert in any sense of the word - she's a peer; perhaps just a bit more ethically corrupt than the rest of us.

If you were going to start a new career after 15 years and enter a new field, how would you do it? Personally, I would get more education, not necessarily a new degree, but classes, internships or certification courses to ensure that I was adequately prepared and at least competitive and knowledgable in my new chosen field. When Van Hari left the computer consultancy business to start a new career, she did none of these things. Why? Because she never really changed careers. According to Hari, she earned a degree in computer science from UNC, but whether it’s a BA or a BS is unclear, though certainly neither would qualify her to spew the BS she does about food, additives and agriculture.

Vani's response to scientific (or even common sense) criticism of her "advice".

No, instead of changing careers, Vani only progressed in hers. She started out as a consultant on large custom software projects for Accenture, moving on to Program management and Product management. Having spent many years myself in Product management for “shrink wrap” or off-the shelf software, I have a good idea of the skill sets one must employ. One of her more notable projects was as Web Services Manager. When managing a set of products such as this, her goal was to increase demand for Bank of America and their services by leveraging web based services and platforms. Their customers are banking customers like you and me, who would avail themselves of the software. In order to do this, SEO (search engine optimization) is a critical component. People have to find your products when they do a google search. Keywords that ring a bell with consumers must be used and you need to generate links to and from other sites to improve your visibility. The backend has to lead to upgradeable products and services to increase the reach and revenue of the bank. So all Vani really did was to create a new set of products for a new set of consumers using the experience she developed in managing web based projects. And those keywords that ring bells? Yup, toxins, chemicals and GMOs or anything else she believes might scare you right out of your grocery cart. And certainly all her links take you to upsell opportunities such as partner products or expensive newsletters.

It’s no accident that Vani was named one of the top influencers on the Internet. It has nothing whatsoever to do with her knowledge of the subject matter and everything to do with her knowledge of creating an online presence. The same is true for social media. If you ran across Vani via the web (which is how she launched herself), it was undoubtedly due to her canny abilities in web based software and techniques for leveraging the software. While I have no problem with someone leveraging their software expertise to earn a substantial income, I do have a problem when the products or services provided are detrimental to the end user. People employ the same methodology to bring you the likes of porn or child porn, but that doesn't make the product they are delivering any more palatable.

The hypocrisy here is that Vani goes after companies and entire industries as though they were nameless faceless entities, not comprising hundreds of thousands of employees that work every day to feed their families. They are a "them" and worthy of derision.  Food Babe, however, claims to be a researcher or a citizen journalist (fighting "them" for YOU) though she proudly claims to have gotten her research skills from a high school debate team.  Apparently, her research skills were a little subpar; when she tried to compete on a college debate team, she failed after only a week.  Her behavior on the web also shows that she lacks debate skills, preferring to ignore (block or ban) those who challenge her or accuse them of being paid by some "big company". (sound familiar?)

Imagine something so big an entire industry wants to hide it - aka put on your tinfoil hat!

Fueling conspiracy theories and fear-based marketing are effective, though morally deficient ways of increasing the web clicks on your site. By impugning large sectors of the population with a blanket label of "industry" or "companies" as she likes to call them, she fails to include herself in that mix. The organic market has become a huge and quickly growing market sector which has profit margins that soar above the meager margins of the conventional sector. And while the conventional sector is well regulated, the organic market sector is not. It is chock full of charlatans like the "Food Babe" who blanket the Internet with rumor, innuendo and outright untruths about the conventional sector, simply to secure the high profit margins they are currently experiencing. They sell unregulated "supplements" to combat the yarns they spin of the dangers of vaccines and food products you consume. So make no mistake, the organic sector is an "industry" and "companies" in the same right as the conventional food companies.

So the next time you see the Food Babe and her cohorts in trickery; John Roulac (CEO of Nutiva and board member of GMO Inside),  Mike Adams (self-titled "Health Ranger") and David Wolfe (avocado wolfe) condemning a particular food product or slandering a conventional food company, stop and ask yourself; what's in it for them and how are they profiting? The answer will probably be pretty clear when you see the "miracle" products they offer instead. But guard your wallet because their brand of faux-nutrition and health isn't cheap and it could actually do more harm than good.

So of course, Vani still gets our 5-alarm, stand back, pants-on-fire award since the more frequently she gets called out on her lies, the louder and longer she screams, much like a toddler in the throes of a temper tantrum. You've seen them, they do it in a supermarket too. Just because something comes up in a search engine result doesn't mean you should buy into it...but hey, it's on the Internet so it must be true. Just like I'm a bunny rabbit slipper in real life.

That's all folks - thanks for coming along for the ride!

NutraQuack Nancy

Quacks come in all shapes and sizes. Just like there are good and not so good doctors there are naturopaths and holistic healers and worse ones. Enter Nancy S Mure, who couldn't quite decide what she wanted to be when she grew up until she alit on being a self proclaimed natural healing practitioner. We'll get into why I say self proclaimed in a minute. But first let's talk about what the whole naturopathic thing-a-ma-bob is all about.

As far as I can tell, naturopathic healing is believing that your body has the capacity to heal itself without the aid of modern medical intervention. Oh and unicorns and rainbows. Now I am not against a healthy lifestyle and I believe it can prevent many illnesses but I highly doubt that it can cure diseases - chronic diseases like cancer and MS, as our little NutraQuack believes. Also there are real naturopathic healers (I use the term loosely myself) that are trained in accredited universities and attain certification and/or licensure (in the USA) through  the American Naturopathic Association (ANA), representing about 1,800 practitioners and the American Naturopathic Medical Association (ANMA). (according to wikepedia.)

"The level of naturopathic training varies among traditional naturopaths in the United States. Traditional naturopaths may complete non-degree certificate programs or undergraduate degree programs and generally refer to themselves as Naturopathic Consultants. These programs often offer online unaccredited degrees, but do not offer proper biomedical education or clinical training. Those completing a Doctor of Naturopathy (ND) degree from an ANMCB approved school can become a Board Certified Naturopathic Doctor. This board certification is in no way the same as holding an ND license and holds no weight in states that regulate the practice of naturopathic medicine."

In doing some background checking, I looked into NutraQuack's educational claims. She has no certification from any accredited body. Anywhere. She attended an unaccredited online diploma mill in which you basically pay for a little piece of paper that claims you have a PhD. She doesn't. It's not real, nor are any of her certifications. You can check for yourself by checking US accredited higher learning institutions with the Council for Higher Education Accreditation. I won't even give you a link, lest one of NutraQuack's believers claim I am misdirecting. Google it for yourself. Her partner in crime, "Dr" Patrick Wanis obtained his doctorate from an even shadier Indian diploma mill online in which you can get a bachelors/masters in 2-3 days online and a PhD in less than a month. It'll only cost you 10 grand US or so.

The thing that first alerted my bullshit meter was a post from the NutraQuack herself, in which she talks about how people should emulate dogs in their own behaviors. Seriously, this is her philosophy. She seems to think her pet dog knows more about healthy habits than does she (even after all that simulated education). Dogs apparently never overeat nor drink water while they are eating. Funny though that Nancy admits in many online publications to drinking wine in Italy every summer so maybe dogs should drink wine. Not sure on that one, I'd ask her but she banned me from her facebook for asking intelligent questions. She IS into "natural hygiene". Not sure what it is, but if she is emulating her dog, I'm going to guess she licks her own ass after, well, a 'cleanse'.

Now, I first wondered whether these people had been duped into thinking that they were getting an accredited degree but seriously, if you think that you get a real PhD by submitting a 1500 word essay online, you aren't even bright enough for the Associates degree that NutraQuack actually did earn before she went to work in a bank. Nope, NutraQuack Nancy knows exactly what she's doing. She wants fame and fortune. She tried to go a more legitimate route, writing children's books, which by many accounts are quite good. But I guess that wasn't enough to keep her in fame and fortune. She also wrote for a magazine about food. Really, but it wasn't the same food she peddles now - take a look for yourself:

Now I have nothing against cookies, but then I also don't run around telling people I can cure chronic and debilitating diseases with a daily juice cleanse either. But wait. What goes better with cookies than milk right? But Nancy doesn't want you to drink milk - it's the devil!

In this article she tells us that not only is milk toxic and not a good source of calcium or vitamin D she states unequivocally that we should not consume it; 

"Don't buy into the Dairy Industry's hype. Humans shouldn't drink milk from a Cow. Nature supplies the milk of each species to fit the needs of its young. Cow milk is meant to grow cows. It contains a protein that is meant for cows.  It is not meant for humans, that's why babies have trouble digesting it and in children and adults,  it's making us fat."

OK, lots of people don't drink milk and don't believe in it but Nancy does, when it suits her purpose. Check out this video that she proudly posted from her account called Nutritionist Nancy at about the time she's claiming to have had all that "natural" education from that "university".

Um, hey Nancy, I think mozzarella is made from milk. So I guess milk is OK if it's in line with your career goals. NutraQuack cites her time on this show with Tyler Florence (who is NOT a vegetarian) as one of the highlights of her 'career'. So I guess if the TV studios had liked her she'd be pushing pizza and milkshakes instead of colonics to cure cancer.

Yes, these are the sorts of people that recommend a 3 day cleanse for a toddler, claim to cure cancer using coffee enemas and pig pancreas all based on a crazy theory developed by a dentist. Yes, I said dentist. But this dentist wasn't happy with handing out braces (though he did even manage to lose his dental license) Old DDS Kelley thought he was an oncologist too. You seriously can't make this shit up! But, this is the danger people like Nancy represent. She wrote an article about how Angelina Jolie should have ignored her BRCA markers and gone to Nancy to eliminate her risk of cancer. This is where the rubber meets the road for me. You can sell organic BS products and supplements all you want (though supplements can be quite harmful as well), but when you start peddling medical advice based on some cockamamie disproven theories as opposed to proven scientific study, that's when it stops being amusing or faddish or remotely funny. 

So, because of the blatant hypocrisy we can tell she's not buying her own line of bullshit so she's a charlatan making bucks off the so called natural (read completely uncontrolled by any oversight agency) supplements, products, diets and "cures" that she peddles regularly through fear-mongering.

This earns NutraQuack Nancy our highest rating of Five alarm, get the bucket brigade, damn it's hot in here, PANTS-ON-FIRE award.

So, my last words will be more harsh than usual but they need saying. Nancy, just cut it the fuck out before you hurt more people. Your career is not worth the lives you are risking with bad advice. Stick to writing kids books about meatballs and pizza. Something you are infinitely more qualified to do.

That's all folks!

PS - I never sell products on this site, nor do I accept donations of any kind. Advertisements posted are always for your entertainment and completely tongue in cheek. Clicking on them brings no money to anybody but may bring you a smile. Trust me, I just bought an online doctorate.

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